So in case you can’t tell, my favorite cute and funny pictures and videos are of animals. There’s just something about them that tickles my funny bone and these are no exception! A friend of mine sent me these pictures and I crack up every time no matter how many times I look at them.
Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor’s office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, ‘Your heart would be just below your left breast’.
Later that night…….. Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
This absolutely has to be one of the most patient cats on the planet!
In the picture below, we will analyze what it represents to some groups of people.
Read the review after the photo…
- For young men, it’s a nice ass. Only the most observant will define this as an ass crossing the street. The really observant will see the thong.
- For older men, it is a respectable woman with a nice ass crossing the street.
- The perverts will imagine her as a naked woman.
- The wise men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer in the face of such beauty and gratitude that it was shared with humanity.
- For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.
- The other half is wondering where she bought that blouse.
- The wise women imagine the misery that this will be at 50.
- Children, the curious, and monks will probably notice a dog driving the taxi..
Don’t be alarmed, I didn’t see the dog either.
Dunno about you, but this is one of the funniest cat and dog videos I’ve seen in awhile. This dog can definitely take a licking and keep on ticking!
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
The Priest said, “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”
Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk,”I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived, said the politician. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.”
Moral…..Never! Never! Never Be Late!
Before hitting play, you should know there is some bad language. Not much, but it’s there. Just thought you should know 
Otherwise, freaking hilarious!!!!
These are Egyptian commercials and are freaking hilarious!!!
A tough old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he died.
He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
Sorta brings a tear to your eye, don’t it?
